Yeah, since we discussed here (on number 3) that it’ a big no-no to imitate what you do in porn, we came up this. Yup, the difference between porn and real sex. Now, don’t get us wrong. We love porn. So much, actually. But everything in them is just, you know, staged. They’re actors and actresses and yeah, sometimes, the act itself cannot be done with your partner. But aside from those loud moans, crazy positions, and endurance… There are more. So here, read away.
1. The Moment of Arousal
Oh, man… A woman (which is 50% of the dance), doesn’t get aroused the very moment a guy walks through the door and shows his penis. Really. A restraining order is the least you’ll get if you do that. You see, in real life, it takes a woman at least 10 minutes to get into the mood. Yup, even if she’s fertile (in heat) man. You still got to get her into the groove with your sweet talks and caresses. It really takes more than just showing your member to get her excited. So don’t just believe what you see in porn.
2. Doing IT with Strangers
Pizza delivery guys, plumbers, and what have you… Nope, it doesn’t work that way. Even if you’re strapped with a lot of cash. You see, women can’t be bought. Well, maybe some but there’s still a big chunk of them that respect themselves. Yup, even the horny ones. Oh, and you also have to consider if the lady you’re eyeing is into you or not. If not, sorry mate but that few hundred won’t cut it. So yeah, don’t believe those porn plots. It really doesn’t work that way unless the plumber or pizza guy is Keanu Reeves or Chris Hemsworth or Evans.
3. Hair and Hygiene
Those adult actors and actresses pretty much have theirs (crotches, man. What else?) pampered by a stylist. Their either shaved or the pubes are styled like it’s a star (which it is). In reality, the partner/s you meet in the local pub doesn’t have groomed genitals. Heck, some are not even uhm clean. I mean, there are those who think hygiene should be less of a priority. So yeah, don’t be expecting a barbie-like hairless pussy or a Washington Monument-like member. Also, smelly or not, make sure to have them wash theirs and you with yours. Or better, you go both take a shower and do 30% of your foreplay there.
4. The Positions
Okay, some of the positions in porn are really hard to pull off. Especially if you had a drink or two. Also, if you’re in you’re late 30 or early forties, we suggest you stick with the basics. But if you’re doing Yoga, then fine. Positions in porn are interesting but you really should look out for your body. I mean, those adult stars are trained and yeah, even if they’re in the most uncomfortable position, they act like they’re having their best time here on earth. I know that experimentations spice up a relationship… But man, know your (and your partners) flexibility limits.
5. Three Way Bonanza
This is yet another event that porn videos like to portray as normal but in reality, it’s really hard to pull off. One, you need to find parties that are comfortable with it. And that is quite hard. Two, given you got two girls or a B-B-G to do the deed with you… it’s icky. Really. Especially if you’re like the rest of us who don’t know what he’s doing or is a first timer. Threesomes need a lot of practice and not a lot out there has a lot of experience so prepare to be disappointed.
6. The Size of the Shaft
I’m not speaking for my self, ladies (editors note: sure you aren’t)… But you got to lower your standards when it comes to sizes. I mean, the ones you see in porn are XL. They wouldn’t be there if they’re average. You see, the average penis size is about 5.5 inches. The 6-9 inches you’re seeing is just. Above normal. Oh, and size really doesn’t matter as…
7. Orgasm through Penetration
Nope, only a small percentage of women orgasm through penetration. Very small. The part of a woman that will help her orgasm is the clitoris (and the elusive G spot, if you manage to find it). 70% of women never reach orgasm through fucking. The women in porn videos may either be faking the orgasm or are a rare breed of women who orgasm during vaginal sex. So focus on the foreplay (especially eating) and other channels (rubbing the clitoris with your hands) while intercourse.
8. Marathon
Men in adult videos seem like they could go at it for hours. And we envy them. But really, the average time a man lasts is three minutes. There’s just a lot of takes in an adult video, making it look like they’re doing marathons. Oh, and some medicinal enhancements like viagra, etc. So yeah, again, if you want to make your partner happy. Use other means and don’t just rely on your member.
9. The Squirt
Well, all of you probably saw this at least once in your porn scrounging. Yup, when the woman shoots out, like a super soaker, liquid during orgasm. It is quite a site… Only, there’s a problem. It doesn’t happen in real life. You see, only about 6% of women achieve ‘the squirt’. At it takes a lot of practice and all to do that. I mean on the woman’s part. So don’t worry about it. As long as you can provide her with a climax, you’re doing good.
So there. See you next time for another educational list.