And frankly, if science can discuss it, so can we.
In 2019, the UK’s Channel 4 came out with a three part mini-series called “Mum’s Make Porn”. Which- love it or hate it, finally got an unlikely demographic discussing their feelings towards all of the free porn videos that spill themselves out of every corner of the internet. What was supposed to be a milestone in thought provoking mid-evening television, wound up being just as objectifying as it was harmful to a sex positive movement. Filled to the brim with the anti-feministic, pearl-clutching outrage that has brought us to the point where a documentary of this kind would be revealing to begin with.
The brass tacks of reality are this: Women watch porn. All kinds of porn. Kinky porn, hardcore porn, lesbian porn, incest porn- chances are if there’s a porn category- women watch it. According to PornDoe statistics, women love free porn videos just as much as our male counterparts, so why is it inspiring or impressive to watch a load of mum’s create something the rest of us are already pretty dang comfortable with?
The Proof is in the Proof
Despite society’s seemingly resolute desire to continue to convince us that women viewing, enjoying, or directing porn is something so incredibly rare and unheard of, that it deserves its own documentary- science has suggested otherwise. A landmark study from the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics released a recent review of a number of existing neuroimaging studies. This study suggests that we have all the data we need to say once and for all, that women are just as turned on by porn as men are.
At a neurological level. This information, coupled with several surveys taken throughout the last few years tells us all – again- that women watch porn. That we enjoy it. So why, even after presented often with this manner of information does the world still seem so shocked by normal female sexuality? In fairness, the complete polarization of the issue makes for some low-hanging fruit and so-common-it’s-become-cliche headlining. Is this why we continue to drag female sexuality through the hallways of spectacular institutions and internet journalism? Or do we do it because in the face of an ever growing body of research, we’re actually still taken aback by the fact that women watch porn and like it?
Maybe it’s because it’s not necessarily the sexuality that we seem to be unable to deal with as a society on the whole- but instead maybe it’s the concept of feminine sexual desire- something that is a whole lot more complex and clandestine that ladies just watch a bunch of free online porn videos.
The Importance of Feminine Desire
Desire is a bit different from sex. Desire is a much more intimate and personal process- one that as far as the female sex goes, still holds quite a bit of mystery. Possibly even for females themselves. Oftentimes, the things revolving female sexuality are closely tied to functional components of desire, as well as bodily functions. Which most women give a miss discussing, as something like “vaginal dryness” could really just be another term for “old age”. Or an entire commentary on how that particular woman lacks desire, or doesn’t desire the right things, or is downright undesirable. While from a logical and wholly removed standpoint- it’s easy to see that this just isn’t the case- as a vagina owner myself, I can assure you, they just get dry sometimes.
Another thing that keeps feminine desire relegated to back rooms and discussions with only your closest girlfriends, is the fact that it’s a much more emotionally stimulated state. Which makes it a whole lot more complicated. While most guys approach sex and desire from an emotional lens (it’s true), it’s not the same emotional lens that women have. In fact, when it comes to sorting out the sexual desires of either sex- research suggests that we’re probably all just confused and have no idea what actually turns the opposite sex on. There’s also a shocking lack of research into the sexual-emotional stimulus enjoyed by alternative sexual dynamics, like those of homosexual and transgender communities.
So maybe we’re not actually shocked by the fact that women watch porn and apparently Mum’s make it. Maybe we’re all just surprised by any sort of understandable normality to it. That the things that turn on men, are also the things that turn on women. That, what might encourage a gay man to feel accepted, secure, and horny, are probably the same things that make a lesbian, non-binary person, or straight woman feel the same. We’re all sexual beings, we all feel sexual desire, attach individual emotions and concerns to it. Maybe these revelations- like women watching porn and guys wanting to feel loved- shouldn’t actually be revelations. Maybe we should all just talk about it in a more open format and realize these “differences” that we keep “finding” aren’t really differences at all.