Phone sex is all the rage again—just like it was when it started in the 1970s and 1980s. It’s sexy for many reasons: you may or may not know your partner, so there’s a sense of intrigue, and you get to talk about all the sexy things you’ve been bottling up. But does phone sex create intimacy? It depends on the situation.
Getting Intimate Over the Phone With Your Partner
When you think about having phone sex, you might think about calling a stranger in the middle of the night to confess your wildest thoughts to them. But a lot of people have phone sex that contributes directly to their intimacy.
People who are in long-distance relationships already understand this. Phone sex isn’t the same as having in-person sex, but that’s because sometimes it’s even better. Hearing your partner communicate their sexual desires over the phone is different from how they sound when you’re in the same room together. Your partner must be much more explicit about how you make them feel, what they are doing, what they like, and what they want. You may know their sexual preferences very well, but phone sex will show you a new side of them. Phone sex removes your ability to use some of your senses—smell, touch, taste, and sight—and it places the focus only on the sound of your partner’s voice.
Even if you are very close, there might be some things that your partner isn’t comfortable sharing—yet. If you look at the top ten sex chat topics as reported by professional sex chat hosts, some of the subjects are uncommon, like a mommy fetish or small penis humiliation. People often look outside their relationships because our culture shames some of these kinks and makes them hard to discuss. But with phone sex, you have a little bit more space and freedom to be wild. You’re not looking anyone in the eye. You can confess some of your kinkiest desires and see how your partner reacts without having to worry about a judgmental facial expression. Phone sex fosters this newfound openness, and your sex life will be all the more intimate for trying it.
Intimacy With a Stranger
The truth is that phone sex is intimate, even if you’re with a stranger. In a way, you’re telling your deepest, darkest secrets to someone, so it doesn’t matter if you know them well. The fact remains that you’re sharing a vulnerable part of yourself and baring your soul to someone. Perhaps the part of your soul that you’re baring is the fact that you want to be told exactly how to jerk off, but that doesn’t make the confession any less significant. Some people who have phone sex are relieved that they are talking with a stranger—so that they don’t have to deal with the ramifications after the call has ended. But for others, phone sex is a bridge to an intimate relationship.
It’s not even all that uncommon. What starts as an adventure with someone you don’t know can end as a friendship or something more. This professional phone sex operator talks about how she has formed real relationships with those who have called to avail themselves of her services.
Some people call phone sex lines just for the connection. After all, if you want to have some sparkling conversation, who better to have it with than a professional? Phone sex operators mention people calling to discuss topics as mundane as what they had for lunch. And yet, they can magically steer the conversation in a sexual direction, if you’d like them to. Having someone who wants to hear about your dining habits as well as when you climax is undoubtedly a form of intimacy.
Finding a Phone Sex Partner
If you’re looking for a phone sex partner, you can easily find them online. The main concern is that you will be catfished. Some people use stock images for their phone sex avatars, meaning that you may not be connecting with the person you think you are—and that can be an unsettling feeling. So, if you want to try phone sex, choose a site that verifies the identities and ages of its operators. That way you’ll get what you pay for.