In this age of awkward boob-twisting (they’re not doorknobs) and shower sex that didn’t pan out as you’d hoped, fingering is a lost art. You can get less interested in hand-stuff as you get older. When you’re excited, you probably just send your face down there. However, if you know how to use your fingers correctly, they can detect a lot more than your tongue (at least in this situation)!
Guys, don’t forget that the G spot is best awakened with soft strokes and inviting gestures, not by bashing it with silicone devices or narrowly missing it with penile thrusting. Unfortunately, the only words for such simple, mind-blowing delights are dumb and nasty. Finger blasting, gusset typing, pony feeding, pant piano playing… whatever you name it, it just sounds immature. Childish. Teenage. Is it just me, or does the word “fingering” bring up memories? But it’s odd because there’s nothing infantile or immature about ‘fingering.’ Your hands are the magic wands that may transport your partner to the world of orgasms; where your fingers travel up and down, showering pleasure glitters all over her body.
But before we go to the ‘how to’s’ and tips, you first got to know your woman…
Yup. Know her. You see, every woman is different in terms of bodily structure and needs. And different women like different strokes. Because your lover’s clitoris is so sensitive to both pleasure and pain, make sure she is at ease. You can even request that your woman masturbate in front of you to see what drives her insane. Take note of how quickly she moves her hand and where she applies pressure to transport herself to another dimension.
Okay, now let’s go to the good part.
First, the teasing
Simply trace your fingertips along the tops of her panties and vagina, just above the line that forms the vaginal lips. Start stroking your fingers up and down the lips, not going in yet. And initially, only clitoral stimulation on occasion. Apply a circular motion with light pressure on her clitoris every couple of strokes.
Try to touch her the way you touch yourself. From there, you can check in with her to see what’s working and what’s not, but starting with, “Well, this is what I do” just makes sense. That said…
Use the index and middle finger for G-spot stimulation: While one hand is busy on her clitoris, use your other hand to explore her wet hole. Tease her hole and when she’s ready, use your middle finger for penetration as it is the longest one. Using both the index and middle fingers is recommended for G-spot stimulation.
But what you like might be the complete opposite of what she likes. This has been my experience with several women. I had an ex who enjoyed getting her clit jackhammered, which surprised me because that’s my notion of hell. But I just rolled with it, trusting that she truly loved it and that I wasn’t torturing her in secret. Man, different strokes. In the strictest sense.
Start to apply more pressure
Begin slowly and then blow off: Begin slowly and then experiment with other moves. Pay attention to her reactions and solicit feedback from her. For example, instead of asking “are you close?” you can ask “faster or slower?”
Apply extra pressure when you can tell she wants it. In general, if she has begun to self-lubricate, she is ready for increased pressure.
Don’t be hasty! Learn how to sustain fingering at the ideal moment. Giving her orgasms with the magic of your fingertips necessitates perseverance, desire, and a high level of imagination. Furthermore, the nicest thing about fingering is that it is always followed by a pleasurable sexual encounter.
Pull your fingers out and stroke on top
This is the perfect time to pull your fingers completely out and go back to stroking on top of the lips. Then play with her clitoris a little bit again. She’ll be ready to jump your bones now.
Oh, and before you do the above, remember this checklist…
1. Don’t forget the lube.
As with all penetrative acts, the wetter, the better. Everyone will be happier if you add lubrication so you can glide your fingers inside with less friction. Wash your hands after alternating between vaginal and anal fingering to avoid transmitting bacteria.
2. Yes. Wash your hands, please!
Your fingers are literally entering your loved one’s body. I should stress that this is a very chemically sensitive area of the body. When that chemistry is thrown off balance, even little, the entire week is ruined. If you respected her health and took two seconds to wash your hands before entering, it would be quite hot. Oh, and cut your friggin’ nails.
3. And yes, you have two hands.
Use both of them. You have two hands at your disposal, whether you’re playing with her boobs with one hand or running your fingers through her hair while massaging her clitoris. Don’t squander them.
