Anal play is all the rage at the moment. Yup, Analingus. Everyone is talking about butt stuff, and we’re not talking about anal sex. There are no limits in this game, friend, with people trying everything from anal toys to pegging.
Could we recommend the rim job to those looking to expand their anal repertoire? Yup, you see… Rimming is when you use your tongue and lips to stimulate your partner’s anus. It is also known as analingus, tossing salad, ass eating, peach munching, eating the booty like groceries, and so on. The move “is referred to as ‘rimming’ because often, the rim or outer edges of the anus [are] the focus area[s],” says Dr. Kristie Overstreet, a psychotherapist, and clinical sexologist. “This doesn’t mean that only the rim is stimulated.”
Rimming can involve inserting the tongue into the anus, circling it, or licking or kissing the rest of the butt. This area of your buttocks is a highly erogenous zone with an abundance of nerve endings. This is why, regardless of sexual orientation or gender, rimming feels good. The sensations are indescribable, though most people compare it to being kissed or licked on their most sensitive and ticklish areas.
Although rimming has traditionally been considered a fringe sex act, it has recently gained popularity, thanks to shows like Girls and Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda.” In fact, according to a 2008 study of American men, 24% had performed analingus on their partners, while 15% had been performed on by a partner. A 2012 Esquire poll of 500 men discovered that 12% secretly wished they were getting more anilingus. Unfortunately, more recent data is difficult to come by. Most studies have concentrated on the prevalence of anal sex in general, rather than rimming in particular.
Can you get an STI (sexually transmitted infection) from rimming?
It’s conceivable. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, hepatitis A, herpes, HPV, syphilis, and gonorrhea can all be transmitted through a rim job. Hepatitis A is spread directly through feces, whereas syphilis, HPV (genital warts), and herpes are spread through skin-to-skin contact (CDC). While herpes is most commonly found in the mouth or genitals, it can also occur on the lower back and buttocks, which is known as sacral herpes. Rimming can also spread oral gonorrhea.
There are a few things you can do to reduce the possibility of STI transmission while rimming. To begin, look for cuts or abrasions on the tongue, lips, gums, or rectum. According to the CDC, these cuts can serve as entry points for infection and transmission.
You should consider using a dental dam as a second option. Dental dams are thin sheets of latex or polyurethane that are placed between the mouth and the vagina or anus during oral sex. They’re not as common in corner stores as condoms, but you can get them from Planned Parenthood or buy them online.
What about bacteria from feces (poop)?
Cleanliness is an important part of rimming, both for the ick factor and to prevent the spread of bacteria. Digestive bacteria and parasites that pass through the anus, such as E. coli and Salmonella, can make you sick if you ingest them. Bacteria found in the anus can also cause vaginal infections. Even in the throes of ecstasy, you’ll want to avoid spreading bacteria to the vagina via your tongue, fingers, sex toy, or penis.
Fortunately, this is easily avoidable. The key is to wash your anus with soap and water. However, be sure to use antibacterial soap! Also, avoid rimming if you or your partner has been sick or have symptoms of a stomach bug. This is because “bad” bacteria are typically found in contaminated food, and most people experience diarrhea or stomach pain after consuming it. If your partner’s stomach is upset, they are more likely to pass bad bacteria to you via rimming.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to douche or enema to prep for rimming. “Doing an enema is typically for play that goes a bit deeper,” says Alicia Sinclair, a clinical sexologist and CEO of the sex toy company b-Vibe. Riming does not penetrate the anus. For the most part, you’re licking the external anus (You might be able to get a half-inch inside the anus with your tongue, but that’s about it). As a result, an enema isn’t required, as it is when you’re being penetrated with a penis or dildo.
How should I prepare for my first time rimming?
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: before you put your tongue or mouth on anyone’s butt, you have to ask for your partner’s consent. Make sure both you and your partner are down to give this a try.
If you go down south without asking your partner if it’s OK beforehand, that won’t be fun for anyone. It could even be traumatizing for them. Shock or discomfort also makes the anal muscles tense up, which means less pleasure for all parties involved.
How should you bring this up with your partner? Let’s face it: B-town isn’t the first destination on everyone’s list of body parts to take a tongue to. Again, communication and consent are key, so you’ll want to have an open and honest talk with your partner to be sure you’re both on board.
a.) If you’re bringing it up
First, remember that sex is a sensitive and even taboo topic for many. Upbringing, religious beliefs, and even societal misconceptions can play a role in your partner’s attitude toward anal play.
Listen to their concerns and avoid being dismissive of them, even if you don’t agree. Be prepared to accept their response, even if it’s not the one you were hoping for.
b.) If they’re bringing it up
If the tables are turned and you’re the one being asked to consider rimming, you’ll want to play by the same rules and hear them out. Avoid being judgmental. You should be able to speak to each other in a way that’s rational, comfortable, and fosters trust.
How do I give someone a rim job?
Okay, we’re here but first things first… Should you landscape? It’s totally up to you.
Hair between your cheeks is perfectly normal, but if you find it unsightly or uncomfortable, book a waxing appointment or break out the clippers. There are advantages and disadvantages to going bareback that should be considered.
Pros to consider
- All the feels. Clearing the area opens the way for all the sensations. The less there is between the rimmie’s butt and the rimmer’s tongue, the more intense the stimulation.
- Cleanliness. It’s not that you can’t get a good clean if there’s hair around your anus, but not having any certainly makes it easier. Bits of toilet paper, towel fluff, and even poo can stick to hairs.
- One less hang-up. Worrying about how your anus looks or whether it will turn off your partner can detract from your enjoyment. If it’s one of your stumbling blocks, removing it can help you relax and enjoy the experience.
Cons to consider
- Skin irritation. Any hair removal method can cause skin irritation, especially in such a sensitive area that has never been in contact with a razor or wax. Allow your skin to heal before getting rimmed if you’re going to remove the hair.
- Ingrown hairs. Regrowth can be excruciatingly painful. You may experience itching and prickling, as well as painful ingrown hairs, as your hair grows back. It’s only temporary, but it’s worth thinking about.
- Risk of infection. This is related to the previous two points. There is a risk of infection whenever your skin is irritated or injured. If you decide to proceed with hair removal, proceed with caution and keep the area clean.
Oh, and should you do an enema? Well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. You see, a mild enema flushes and releases water to initiate a bowel movement.
On the plus side, an enema can clear your anal cavity of feces and bacteria, may help you feel more confident in your bum situation, and is a source of erotic pleasure for some people. But on the downside: not everyone enjoys them and some find them uncomfortable, there’s a risk of tears and infection, and frequent enemas can disrupt the rectum, bowels, and digestive tract and interfere with your elimination rhythm.
What about lube? Well, it can enhance the experience and is an absolute must if anal sex is also on the agenda.
Also, lube lets the tongue and fingers slide with the greatest of ease, which you’ll both enjoy. There are also flavored lubes and lubes specifically for rim jobs that can make things more palatable. So it is totally up to you.
Wait, does agreeing to rimming mean you’re agreeing to anal? You ask. Nope. Rimming can be enjoyed as a standalone act or used as foreplay to any other sexual activity that you’re up for.
You don’t need to have anal if she does not want to. But if you do, talk to your partner before making moves in bed. It’s important to get consent every step of the way.
Okay, now let’s go back to how to give a rim job…
What positions are best?
Though you can definitely experiment to find positions that work for you, a modified version of doggie style — or “four on the floor” — is the most obvious choice. To do this, have the person receiving the rimming get down on the floor or bed on all fours.
If you’re performing the rimming, you should:
- Kneel behind your partner.
- Use your hands to guide your partner’s butt to the height that provides the best angle.
- Use your hands to spread your partner’s cheeks.
You could also try having the recipient:
- Stand in front of a table, chair, or bed and bend over it while you kneel behind.
- Stand and bend at the waist, and hold their ankles while you kneel or crouch behind.
- Lie on their back with two pillows under their hips and their knees pulled toward their chest, while you kneel between their thighs.
What do you do with your tongue?
- Start off slow and work your way to the money spot instead of going in for the kill right away.
- Soft, light licks and kisses of the inner thighs and perineum are a great start and are sure to get them primed for action.
- When you’re ready to move to the anus, you can’t go wrong by using your tongue much, in the same manner, you would to lick an ice cream cone.
Here are some tips:
- Use long, slow licks with your tongue flat against your partner’s anus.
- Experiment with your tongue, alternating between stiffening and relaxing it.
- Try different directions, such as up and down and side to side.
- Point your tongue and push it against their anus, using enough pressure to gently penetrate.
What do you do with your teeth?
Aside from some tiny nibbles on the cheek, most people would prefer you refrain from having your teeth come into direct contact with their butt.
Here’s what to do:
- Make sure they’re open to a little toothy action — communication and consent are a must!
- Run your front teeth lightly along the backs of their thighs and cheeks, barely grazing the skin.
- Try light, gentle nibbles, sticking to the butt cheeks where there’s enough flesh to take it.
What about your breath?
Hot breath against the skin can be a real turn-on and is especially stimulating against the inner thighs and bottom. Tease your partner by getting your lips just close enough to their skin that they can feel your breath.
Try alternating with some light kissing and licking, too.
What do you do with your hands?
Your hands can work some real magic when it comes to pleasuring your partner, so be sure to use them.
Use your hands to:
- Play with your partner’s nipples, gently squeezing or pulling on them.
- Rub your partner’s clitoris.
- Penetrate their vagina with your fingers.
- Stroke their penis/clitoris.
- Gently squeeze and caress your partner’s breasts/scrotum.
- Caress their neck, back, or inner thighs.
- Squeeze or lightly spank their cheeks.
So there you have it. Rimming is a highly sensational act worth adding to your repertoire as long as it is enjoyed between consenting adults. Just remember to practice safe sex and to clean up after yourself.