Roleplay sex will spice up your bedroom adventures in these times. Yup, we can forget (for a while) those outdoor hookups and whatever it is you want to do inside (or outside) that tent of your in the national park.
We can, folks, do something extremely exciting inside the house. And yes, that is apart from better utilizing your stairs or kitchen (which you can’t really do if you got kids). So here… How about we guide you to having a good roleplay adventure and maybe remove a little awkwardness to it. You know, just turn it into something amazing that will do often.
Any kind of sex-related or kinky role play starts from one place – your imagination. But before you do anything, it’s important to have a proper chat with your partner(s) about your expectations and boundaries. Also, get elaborate or keep it simple. Remember that it’s all about doing what turns you on.
Think about your fantasies
What turns you on, in your head? Is it the hot teacher you used to have in college? Maybe you wish your massage therapist would take things a little farther when you’re covered only by a towel. Have you read erotic fiction and wished you were a vampire or a Viking?
In role-play, you’re limited only by your imagination. Think of any scenario that turns you on even if it’s just the excitement of the first date with someone you’ve been lusting over. Your dirty thoughts are the sexy inspiration for all your role play games.
Then talk about it
Some role play fantasies you can spring on your partner, like pretending to meet them in a bar. Others need a bit of preparation. If you’ve got a kinky role play fantasy featuring leather, whips, and a mermaid (don’t worry – there’s a sexy costume for that) … well, you’re going to need to give your partner an early heads-up.
Start simple with “I can’t stop fantasizing about…” Then, gauge your partner’s interest. If they perk up a little or get into the fantasy with you, take it to the next level. Say something like “Can you be the prisoner, and I’ll be the guard?” or whatever your fantasy may be.
The kinkier, the better… or not
Some role play fantasies are inherently about power – the teacher and student, or officer and criminal. One of you has power over the other and can “have your way” with the other. It’s a great way to explore a kinky power exchange dynamic in a more playful way, without some of the seriousness and intensity.
But, not all role play scenarios have to be that way. Pretending to pick up your partner at a bar, or acting like you’re on a blind date lets you be someone you don’t think you are – aggressive, bold, overtly sexual – in a safe way.
Start slow
For many people, role play can feel a little silly. You might feel awkward or uncomfortable “playing pretend” even if the idea of it turns you on. Start small and slow.
Try sexting your partner about your fantasy first. This way you can play and be imaginative without looking at the other person or saying anything out loud. For some people, this is all the role play you may need or want. For others, once you get comfortable typing it, it’ll be much easier to say your “lines” in a role play scene.
Imagination is a powerful thing, so costumes in role-playing aren’t a requirement. If you’re broke or uninterested in wigs, hats, and costumes, go ahead and skip it. But if dressing up helps you get into “character,” go for it. If you’re not sure what to go for, there’s always the classic French maid, nurse, and secretary. And, plenty of options, man.
You can buy sexy costumes online, from adult stores or costume shops, or you can use what you have in your wardrobe to put together the perfect outfit for your character. Dressing up isn’t required, but it can definitely make your scene feel more real. It can also be great fun.
What to say matters
The first few “lines” of your role play might feel awkward or silly – and that’s OK. This is a new game, and no one expects you to be perfect at the beginning. It’s alright to laugh and fumble through at first. If it’s a strong fantasy for you or your partner, the words will come and then you can follow each other’s lead.
You may know exactly how you want your fantasy to end. If you do, you should also let your partner know. But you may want to be surprised at what happens, in which case, imagine what your character would say or what you’d want them to say, and go for it. No theatre critic will be there to tell you if you did a good job. If you end the scene naked, sweaty, and satisfied, you’ve performed well!
Roleplay in the bedroom (or anywhere else) can be an amazing outlet to share your sexiest fantasies, try new things, and explore your kinks. It can also be a lot of fun leading to laughter and sex, which is never a bad combination!
The important thing is to be open with your partner and let your imagination lead the way. Be willing to be silly and make mistakes – this is supposed to be fun! And, as you get better at getting into character and letting go of your inhibitions, you might be surprised at where your fantasies take you.
And now how about we elaborate a little more. I mean, Role Play can be super awkward and we haven’t discussed it to the fullest.
Communication is key
The golden rule of all things sex is to communicate. We cannot stress this enough. You don’t just jump in and throw on a robber’s mask without discussing it beforehand. As a beginner, you really have no idea what you’re doing. Sure, you’ve probably been masturbating to this fantasy for a long time now. But actually putting it into action is a whole other ballgame.
“Have a sex date,” suggests sexologist Michelle Hope. “This is where you and your partner stay in, grab takeout, perhaps a bottle of wine, and just start the sexy conversation. It can be pretty hot just having the conversation. This is the point in which a couple can create boundaries.”
Talking about it shouldn’t intimidate you — it should actually make you more comfortable. Communicating frees you up to become fully immersed in the experience without feeling afraid of crossing a boundary you’re not ready for.
Roleplay doesn’t require expensive props
The thing that hinders many people from acting out a fetish or fantasy is the assumption that you need to buy a buttload of gear to make it happen. This is not the case! You don’t have to go out and buy a full leather corset, whips, chains, and a chastity cage just to act like a dominatrix for 15 minutes. You can just wear black and use a wooden kitchen spoon as a paddle.
Your brain is your biggest sex organ. You can use it to create scenes and get yourself hot without purchasing all the bells and whistles. Simply unlock your imagination and you’re well on your way.
Weird is okay
So much of what our minds create is shamed. We’re terrified of being classified as sickos for thinking about something we’re not supposed to think about.
It doesn’t matter if you want to be a clown, kidnapper, or priest: Your fantasy life is the place to explore these desires. It’s a safe space.
Everyone has weird, creepy, or unusual fantasies. Most of us are turned on by the taboo. You can’t always act out those turn-ons in real life, so the bedroom is the optimal place for that abnormal investigation.
Have a safe word
Safewords, which became popular among members of the kink community, are vital tools for role play. Using a safe word lets your partner know that something has become overwhelming, frightening, or is not working for you. You can use your safe word without breaking character, thus protecting the integrity of the scene.
Have a plan in place for aftercare
Roleplay often means taking on a persona that is completely different from who you are in real life. And sometimes, that can be scary. It’s commonplace to feel vulnerable and fragile after a kinky role-play scene. So it’s essential that once orgasms have been had and the fantasy has concluded, you and your partner take care of each other in what’s referred to as “aftercare.”
Different people want different things out of their aftercare. One person might want to be held tightly and cuddled; while another may need space to recover.
Use aftercare as a time to comprehend and reflect. Roleplay is an emotional process and needs to be dealt with accordingly. Going over boundaries, desires, and a plan to maximize that post-sex afterglow is an intense bonding experience that will bring you closer than you thought possible to your partner. Now go forth and enjoy yourselves!