Remember our backdoor article? Well, to some of you who have tried it, congratulations. And to those who haven’t, you should let your woman read this one. Why, because they might achieve more than just their ordinary orgasms. Yup, you see, a study shows that anal orgasm is real. And many (and I’m sure a good number of you) have already had their partners experienced it.
So have about a good read and a good material to convince your girlfriend to try out some backdoor fun, eh?
What an anal orgasm is, exactly
Put simply, an anal orgasm is the result of sexual stimulation of the nerves in and around the anus. According to Megwyn White, director of education at Satisfyer, “The anus is packed with nerves, especially the incredibly erogenous pudendal nerve—which connects to the clitoris.”
The pudendal nerve carries sensation to and from your perineum, reaching your vagina, vulva, and anus, too.
What does this kind of orgasm feel like? Well, some women describe it as being similar to a clitoral orgasm—a pulse of pleasurable contractions, but this time around the anal sphincter. Others may feel more of a “spreading wave” of pleasure.
How to get started
Sex on the fly is fun, but when it comes to anal play, a little prep can help make the experience better for the receiver and the giver.
Some women may hit this high note during penetrative anal sex with their partner’s penis, while others get there via lighter touching or using toys. Like any other kind of orgasm, there’s no “right” way to do it, and every woman has her own technique depending on what feels good for her body and her own comfort level. Like any kind of sex session, you’ll want to get things going with ample amounts of foreplay, such as touching, kissing, and vaginal and clitoral stimulation.
Being relaxed and aroused is key, especially if this is your first foray into butt play. Once your partner is relaxed and ready, begin with a tongue or finger to gently stimulate the area of the anus.
Here are some ideas and other tips to get you started:
Indulge in something erotic. The more turned on you are, the easier and more enjoyable butt play will be.
Watch porn, listen to an erotic story, or just close your eyes and fantasize.
Take a hot bath. A hot bath before anal play will help loosen tight muscles and increase blood flow to all your bits. Use bath time to give your erogenous zones a good rub-a-dub and show your anus some love while you wash up.
Practice with a butt plug. Sex toys can help you get a feel for anal play before experimenting with your partner. Take things slow and enjoy the feeling of the toy teasing your butt before inserting it.
Stock up on lube. There’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal. It isn’t just about the delightful slip and slide, but also an important part of anal sex safety.
As you get more into it, your anal area may start feeling super-pleasurable sensations, even a buildup of pressure that segues into contraction-like waves. If what you experience isn’t quite the release you usually feel when you orgasm, it should still feel good.
If you’re experiencing amazing sensations but you’re not quite reaching climax but you keep trying, take a deep breath—and take the idea of having an orgasm off the table. “Pressure, stress, and anxiety are the biggest blockers of orgasm.”
Now guys, also remember that as the giver, you need to bring your A-game. A little prep can help you help them have that anal orgasm:
Groom those hands. Trim and file your nails to prevent tearing delicate skin. Short nails also mean less space for dirt and bacteria to hide. While we’re on the subject of bacteria, don’t forget to wash your hands thoroughly before going in. You could also wear latex gloves, and for extra comfort insert some cotton balls.
Use a condom. Condoms can be used on a butt toy and fingers, as well as a penis. If you want to use your tongue, a condom can also be cut open and used as an alternative to a dental dam. This isn’t just to prevent STIs, but also to nip the ick factor in the bud if you or your partner is nervous.
Get in the mood. Foreplay can help get you both ready for what’s to come and make entry into that special spot easier. Touching, kissing, and licking the buttocks and the area around the anus is a good way to get the party started.
Again, Lube is a MUST. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate. It just doesn’t — at least not in the same way as a vagina.
Your anus is located at the end of your rectum, which is part of your digestive tract. The mucus membrane that lines the rectum contains glands that produce mucus to protect your digestive tract.
Anal mucus is sometimes secreted when you have a bowel movement or during anal stimulation, but the amount of mucus secreted — if any — isn’t enough to help penetration.
Techniques to try
You’ll probably have to play with different techniques to find what works, but playing is half the fun anyway.
Here are some moves to try with whether you’re using your tongue, fingers, penis, toys, or a combo of them all.
With your tongue
Your tongue may not be able to directly stimulate the P-spot or A-spot, but it sure can work wonders on the rest of the perianal area and many other erogenous zones.
Use the tip of your tongue to tease the cheeks before working your way between them. Swirl your tongue around the anus for a moment and then push the tip into the opening, darting it in and out.
With your fingers
- Come hither. Slowly insert your lubed finger into the anus and curl your finger upward in a “come hither” motion. Gradually increase the depth and speed — and, if desired, try inserting a second finger. Once you find a depth and pace that feels good, continue the motion and allow the pleasure to build.
- Doorbell. From the inside or outside, find the spot that makes them go “oooh” with your finger and press your finger pad against it as if ringing a doorbell. Start with light pressure, gradually increasing the pressure and speed.
- Circling. Rub the pad of your finger in a circular motion in the area of the A-spot or P-spot. Start circling the area slowly and gradually pick up the pace at your partner’s request — or based on their oohs and ahs. Play with pressure, as well as speed, to find the magic combo.
- Simulated vibration. A little hard on the wrist, but if you speed up any move fast enough you can simulate vibration. Save this for when they’re close to the brink to avoid carpal tunnel.
- With your penis, a strap-on, or another sex toy
- Pressure. Applying more or less pressure can help you find the sweet spot.
- Depth. No two butts are exactly alike, so play with depth to figure out how deep you need to go to hit the right spot. Take it slow and gentle —unless you get the OK to do more.
- Vibrations. You can find vibrating massagers with different vibe and pulse settings. Try out the different combos to find what works best. Up the vibration when the climax is near to take things over the edge.
- Internal/external. Some sex toys work double duty thanks to an external vibe that stimulates the perineum or clitoris during penetration. You can also buy a dual penetrator vibrator to DP the anus and vag at the same time. Can we get a hallelujah!
How to incorporate other stimulation
An anal orgasm may be your goal, but don’t let that stop you from making use of all of the other hot spots a body has to offer!
Stimulate one or more to aim for a combo orgasm:
- Clitoral. You can show the clit some love during anal play whether you’re the giver or the receiver. Use your hand, fingers, or a toy to slide up and down and side to side over the clit and hood.
- Vaginal. A finger or toy can provide some DP action to penetrate the vagina while the butt’s receiving some love. Try the “come hither” move and you just might hit the elusive G-spot, too.
- Penile. A good ol’ fashioned hand job is an easy add-on to anal play for the giver or receiver. Grasp the penis and stroke the entire length of the shaft, picking up the pace as climax approaches.
- Erogenous zones. The body has dozens of potentially pleasurable zones craving some action. Use your hands or toy to explore the rest of your body, lingering on those that feel best. Try usual suspects like the neck, breasts, and scrotum or those less-explored like the backs of the knees, small of the back, and inner arms.
As for the positions, once you get comfortable, that’s in another article so watch out for that.